Daydreams + Mom guilt.

Oh me-oh my! It has truly been too long since I have sat down and designated some time to this pretty little space. Actually that isn’t entirely true, I had finally gotten some time on Christmas Eve Eve and was able to compose quite a bit to share with everyone about holiday traditions and all things seasonally special to us. I then mistakenly thought it to be safe and left it to rest open as a tab when my darling husband strolled in and unknowingly broke my blogging heart and closed the entire computer down..without saving a thing. Onward and upward!

Any who and everwhat-so much has happened since I first started this space, four months ago! It has been a complete whirlwind of cuddles, wet kisses, dirty nappies, and I’m loving every bit of it. Willow is just thriving and it’s such a joy to watch. She is dreaming next to me as I write and this mama is thankful. Slumber is scarce these days (thanks to the arrival of the first two baby teeth) making moments to tackle any odds and ends pretty impossible.

My twin flame, Drew Gene is a constant source of entertainment and joy. What a balance he brings to my crazy stay at home life. He is working, attending college, being da-da and my sweetheart. All while not missing any big moments with Will, and most of the tender little ones too. With all the here and there action he is enduring, he still manages to sit down with me most nights so we can converse about our day dreams and goals. A practice that will never get old to me, and a time I look forward to more than I think he knows.

As of late, I have caught myself feeling intense amount of the ever so lovely M O M G U I L T. It is all too real. It's mean. It's heavy. It can come on fierce. Call it what you want, but I'm in awe of my daughter and I could just stare at her for hours upon hours. Some days though you just have that itch to tackle the ever growing and extensive to do list. Meaning far less time with little Willie in my arms then we are used to or prefer. I find myself feeling so much guilt if she is awake, lounging and I'm not right there, hanging out with my girl, teaching her, growing with her, expanding her little mind or getting creative or just giving loves. I know it's healthy for her to have SOME distance from mama but damn, my heart people! That's my little human and I hate the idea of her ever feeling like I'm not wanting to love on her every moment of my days. So much contentment from her-yet so much emotional agony from the ADULT WOMAN. What is it about a beautiful baby that can make you feel like a force to be reckoned with one moment and a complete emotional puddle of baby scented mom guilt the next?

It is true what “they” say, it goes all too fast. I don’t know exactly who “they” are but I don’t like them very much on the days I realize time is ticking quick and I am trying to be a mom AND keep house. That being said, I will never regret the days I spent embracing my buddha belly babe over the handling the daunting pile of dishes.

All in all, this mama is doing her very best with what she has, where she has it, in the present moments.

Here’s to the daydreams + Mom guilt.

It’s all good!

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