New mama's ambition

I can't remember a time when I have felt more humbled yet unapologetically human than when I was pregnant with Willow. Mostly due to the fact that I was growing a human, a soul within my body. My husband Drew and I fought long and hard to hold onto a baby. We endured two miscarriages prior to carrying the sweet baby sleeping next to me. Due to that fact, each and every milestone was immensely celebrated by us, and each and every tick, or bump within me - TERRIFIED us. At the time I felt robbed of the experience. That I should have been able to be completely carefree and only feel at ease. That wasn't reality! I was already a mother, I was already learning and being taught patience and selflessness. I was already shaping, and shifting into this wildly important new role, as a mama. It is something that shapes you into a completely new version of yourself, that I learned to love and accept each day. I've done, thought, and said things about myself, and others throughout life that I'm not in the least bit proud of. I have also done, thought, and said things to myself and others that simply astound me. The amount of love I'm capable of, time in and time out. The strength of which I can hold tight to grudges. The never ending battle I will put forth to ensure that everyone feels they have a fair voice-even if those very voices are coming down on me, or drawing attention to my flaws. I suppose what I'm trying to say is that I'm human, and my daughter is so very full of life at 8 weeks outside the womb , and I pray if she gets anything from me-it be this; I pray that throughout her years earth side she never stops working towards finding that beautiful balance of right and wrong within her own life and of the beautiful people we coexist with. I pray she recognizes when she is wrong, or acts unjustly. In the same sense I pray she finds the peace, celebration and integrity in the moments where she sees righteousness within her world, and leads other to find it for themselves too. Nobody will get through this life without having dirtied their own hands. It only takes one person to turn the faucet on. One person to say it's safe to cleanse ourselves of our wrong doings, or our moments of ugly. One person to show the ultimate grace of loving and accepting another for all their wrongs and all their stunning, outrageously beautiful rights. I'll teach Willow the best way I know how, that LOVE is always the answer. Near or far, spoken or just felt, it's always okay to feel safe loving yourself and loving another. Always love. Always love. Always love.

Always love more.